Archive for April, 2009


I am ashamed to be complicit in this

April 8, 2009

When I was in secondary school and then again at University – I made certain conclusions about life, democracy and social consciousness. I decided that democratic capitalism was hardly the ideal way for society to function, but that given all the alternatives it was probably all for the best. If it was practiced in a calm and secure manner the single redeeming feature was that it allowed for the expression, meditation on and inclusion of alternatives. Dissent. 

 As much as I love the political philosophies of anarchism and socialism  I bet you can’t point out a society that carried out these ideas de facto without a fuck load of oppression and decided reliance on  the mechanisations of oppression. ( I think we’ll have to wait and see when it comes to the new model of South- American socialism and then again community living and squats do tend to work…but anyway…).

As nice as it is to have high faluting thoughts about the demos and the proletariat and all that jazz,  ultimately it comes down to being able to eat your tea in peace at night. Without the bloody secret police busting  in and sending your shepards pie  (oh shepards pie how i miss thee) sailing 3 feet into the air.

Anyway, pie related diversions done with, ultimately modern democracy, it ain’t perfect but the emphasis it places on human rights is laudable, important and a joy (at times) to live in.

However, if socialist theory is right, the positives I’ve just spoken about as well as other factors easily read as inherently condraditory and ultimately implosive.  I remember sitting with my history teacher in upper sixth and we were reading the communist manifesto together over a cup of tea and a plate of bourbons and I couldn’t stop spluttering – ‘But…he’s right…it’s all going to come tumbling down of it’s own accord…’ (My history teacher was a bit mental – she was finishing her phd as she was teaching us and when I was twelve she made me stand as the socialist candidate in our Conservative, Catholic school’s mock election…everyone else was 17 dammit).

To be honest, eventually I just couldn’t see socialism being applied to society and functioning. Infinately more preferable was the way I was currently living – able to go about my daily business in peace. 

Last week, however, homes were raided and anti-capitalist materials removed. Senior government officials are not being taken to court about there collusion in the torture and false imprisonment of British citizens. Cabinet members are being exposed as charging their lavish properties (and spousal pornography…haha) to parliamentary expenses, Bankers who have gambled with lives are being allowed to wave £50 notes at outside protesters. The protests at G20 have been criticised for their lack of a single, unifying platform. And what is implicit that the general sense of unease they expressed was just ignorance and boredom – I don’t think that this is wholly fair. Many tangible things are wrong with our society and typically they are caused by the logic and philosophy at the very core our systems of governance. It doesn’t really matter which personality or celebrity is in power. It runs deeper than that and that’s a difficult thing to fit onto a placard my friends, let alone a solitary sentence on a blog.

 This should be where the single redeaming feature of this system kicks in – the vocalisation of dissent. 

However, the chap in this video wasn’t even protesting – he was allegedly walking home and got penned in by police cordons. He is slammed to the ground by officers and later collapsed and died. If you choose to exercise your right to protest, today, in modern Britain you have to accept that you might not come home and that. That, to me – is terrifying.  I know this assesment doesn’t fully map and explore every facet of this situation but holy frack. It’s bloody scary)

The single positive in a sea of negatives appears to be dying in the death throws of capitalism. The right to a private life and a private death are evaporating in the shadows of the Bank of England and nothing could be more poetic or more apt.

And whats more – I’m ashamed to be complicit in this.


Craig David; Effing Deer and Sunshine…Pure Unadulterated Sunshine.

April 6, 2009

Oh Craig David…Why are you always everywhere? I swear to God, Craig David always pops up at the most opportune of moments. Today, I was buying a new necklace charm in a hippy shop when suddenly he was, mixed between the South American Inca music . Get out of my head and out of Japan Mr David.

I’ve been moderately hungover all day – was out last night until 4 am again…it’s fun at the time but then afterwards I feel like crap. Hangovers in Japan basically mean me, sat in my apartment feelings like crying all day because everything seems so bleak and horrid and pointless. Drinking. gah. Alcohol is surely one of the worst drugs in the world for making you depressed. I attempted to heal myself by spending 2 hours asleep in the castle gardens – rolling over occasionally to put a new record on my ipodor brush the falling Sakura petals from my nose. It did the job – and more than that, going out to dinner with my friends did an even more cracking job of cheering me up. They are, quite frankly, Fantastic.

Hanami on Miajima was beautiful:


The trees were so beautiful. We made our way up from the Bay into Momiji Danji Park and settled on a spot next to a tiered waterfall. The sunshine had warmed the rocks underfoot and we spread out, stripped down to T Shirts, bare armed and happy. 

I had my shoes and socks off in…oh…I reckon about thirty seconds and went down to the waters edge to move from stone step to stone step across the water. Sometimes words fail – I can’t even begin to tell you how full my heart felt.  Rushes of happiness kept rolling over me and and the combination of beer and sunshine and warm friendship made me so happy.

That’s all I can really say about it.

In other news….a bloody dear ripped two pages out of my sketchbook while I was drawing the Sakura and I had to chase the little bugger all over the park to get the bloody things back. I was aghast! In shock! I couldn’t believe the audacity of the bastard. Still, eventually I managed to get the pages back and maybe they give those skecthesa little character that was originally missing.

 I stared up through the branches of the Sakura trees today and listened to Bob Dylan and missed all my lovely friends who are back home. It felt like a terribly lonely thing to be doing; staring and listening and sleeping  so i rolled over onto my belly and tried to take some close shots of the fallen Sakura that littered the ground.


It was another perfect day, wish you could have shared it with me,





Interesting day back home another perfect day right here …

April 2, 2009


A lot of wankers being wankers in this video…Which is surprising because it is probably heavily editedby the leftist guardian…Think how wanky they must be in real life.

A lot of sentiments I hold very dear to me being parroted by nonces in daft hoods.

But then again…if I had been penned in and not allowed to leave unless my photograph and name were taken…I’d be pretty effing pissed off too.

There now, vague allusion to politics over – back in the un-world of my Japanese life, I spent the morning sketching Sakura trees…again. I’ve been going every morning for the past few days – They are really hard to draw, bloody blossoms spilling out everywhere – but so achingly beautiful I can forgive them.

Today an old man came up to me and asked if he could look at my drawing – he said lots of things in Japanese and I agreed, he was gesturing at the tree and giving me advice I suppose. Then, with a bow and an order to “Gambatte Kudasi” he was off.