Archive for June, 2009

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Post – Endorphin Highs and Rainy Morning Blues

June 10, 2009

CIMG2110

Originally uploaded by mizimoo

This was written last night:

Running, in summer-time rain, has to be one of the best feelings in the world.

Rain makes the ground yield it’s day-gained smells of heated tarmac and hot foot prints.

Dry grasses billow under tiny doldrums around the castle moat and the rain is still cool and light enough to feel ecstaticly good on my skin.

Now I’m sat at home icing my knees and looking through the photos and videos I took in Korea. I had a very, very good time and even though I miss R, who I had to leave behind (again!) I can’t help but feel I’m in exactly the right place doing exactly the right thing – for now. This is of course a slightly rediculous feeling, how could I ever be doing anything other than exactly what I should? But life feels good – full of thing I never imagined I’d have this time last year.

This morning:

Oh the naivety of the evening, the feelings of acomplishment and peace that the close of day can bring! Like a bumbling buffoon I went to bed full of the joys of spring and woke up on an endorphine come down.

I’m angered and embittered and cursing the world’s name for oh, a myriad of reasons I suppose.  My face, never prone to acne before now looks like the rear end of a influenza afflicted sow. *sigh* Damn humidity – makes me feel liek picking myself up and leaving on the next flight bound for the sahara. Oh Aridity, how I miss thee. 

These endless cycles are begginging to drive me crazy. Feeling like I’m getting somewhere gives way to feeling stuck a few hours later. Happpiness turns to rage on a daily basis. Belief in other people quickly fades into a dissapointment with clockwork like regularity.
Love,
Mizi chan
xoxoxoxo

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Korea; Kimchee and abandoning principles.

June 5, 2009

Well,

I’m in Korea!

Hurrah!

So far, it’s seemed about a million billion miles away from Japan…I’ve been ripped off (taxi), yelled at (random, older gentleman in the bus station) and generally manhandled more in 18 hours than I have in twelve months in Japan.

People keep bloody touching me, leaning over, sitting next to me (shock!) and pointing…it’s mad. And the whole time, I’ve had my serene ‘Japan face’  plastered from ear to ear. The smiling, calm, nothingisatallwrong face I seem to have developed whilst teaching screaming babies for 8 hours everyday. 

So, as we speak Robert is in the shower shaving off his beard. We took long looks at each other last night (having not seen each other for a year), my hair is short, his dreads are gone (his beard went today) –  In the back of my mind something squirms against all this. When I cut off all my hair in January, it was initially, quite liberating – the ends were dried and broken with bleach, raves and general pre-Japan angst so getting rid of them was good. I still hate how short my hair is, probably as much as Robert hated cutting out his dreads. But if the worth of an experience can be judged by measuring that which you had to give up for it, well then I love my life – wholey and truly. (Cheers Ghandi!)

I’m mad happy 90% of the time and yeh, I’ve had to give up some things that were important to me – now I’m a coffee-swilling, fedora-hat-buying yuppie bastard. But the things I cut away with the bleach and the angst will probably come back and maybe they weren’t that great to begin with.

I mean, hemp trousers…veganism and a penchant for patchouli aren’t worthwhile in and of themselves. Before I moved to Japan I had the trappings of principles but wasn’t mentally awake enough to actually hold an ideal.

Oh and lastly…haven’t actually eaten any kimchee yet…BUT…I have had a huge bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes because they have Tescos here, can you believe it?!

Love loads,

Mizichan

xoxoxoxoxoxo