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So it goes

September 16, 2009

Maybe it’s the end of things that’s showing me how very happy I am?  … I’m lying on my stinky floor in the darkness… my glass doors thrown open.  Neon signs flashing, Drunken salary men yelling down below, traffic racing by and  autumn blowing my curtains  wide.

It’s perfect!

I have nothing tangible, no one is thinking of me, no drama is happening, I’m essentially alone (for tonight) and will be until I open my eyes tomorrow morning but it’s more than enough.

Man, someone is going to have to break out the hemp trousers again because I am a daft fucking hippy. Aint two ways about it. I need to go do something respectable like buy an over priced latte or wrangle over which set of stackable miniature coffee tables to purchase with my next fat paycheck. 

 

Oh Eddie… this video is so so gash, what were you thinking?  Actually here is a much better one, same soundtrack

I listened to this album when I worked the job of death at Nestle and prayed and prayed and prayed that Amity would hire me so I could just fucking leave. I just had this compulsion to move. Keep moving. I didn’t want to get away from anything. I just had to move and couldn’t because I was always between the same four walls. I wanted to play at being alone I think, like we all do when we finish up the giant glut of selfish communality that is Uni.

Don’t even try to ask me how that worked out because I still have no clue how to tell my arse from my elbow, but the crazy need to move – I’m lucky that I can satiate it now. Not neccisarily by physical travel but by some funny things I learnt to do over the past 18 months. Like write it all down. Tell it to your best friend. Find quiet empathy in other (smarter) people’s words. Be alone. And if you need to move – then move. Find the place you’re looking for next to a river or in a 24 hour coffee place full of hunched over middle aged men or in the cool side of your pillow  either way, get it out of yourself. Look at it. Then pull it back in.

And on that note. Off to bed.

Love,

Mizi xo xo xo xo xo xo

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